


we've only got each other to blame

by lilibetpride



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: 6000 Years of Pining (Good Omens), Fluff and Crack, God Ships Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Love Confessions, M/M, Post-Episode: Good Omens: Lockdown, Self-Indulgent, god is very tired, the universe just wants aziraphale and crowley to get together goddamit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 11:07:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24350014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilibetpride/pseuds/lilibetpride
Summary: “Hello, angel!” Crowley exclaimed, watching him from behind his armful of bags. “I wasn’t sure which type of sugar you wanted, so I bought all of them.”“I’m in love with you!”
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 20
Kudos: 178
Collections: Good Omens Lockdown fics





	we've only got each other to blame

**Author's Note:**

> don't take this seriously i wrote it in two hours while hearing 'no more lonely nights' on repeat and rewatching good omens for the fourth time.

_**I can wait another day until I call you** _

_**You've only got my heart on a string** _

_**And everything aflutter** _

_**But another lonely night might take forever** _

It was, by all means, the most anticlimactic declaration of love possible. 

One would think that, after 6000 years of knowing each other, it’d all culminate in a moment of passion and tears. 

In reality, Aziraphale was kind of embarrassed at how easily he gave his heart away. 

Even after explicitly telling Crowley he would not allow them to break quarantine, he caved in a day after their call. 

“Hello, Crowley!” Aziraphale said, gripping his leg like it would stop his voice from shaking. 

On the other side of the line, he could imagine perfectly well how Crowley blinked himself awake with a frown. “Angel? Somethin’ happen?” 

“I'm terribly sorry to wake you up, dear, but it seems I’m out of sugar.” 

“... I’m not a store?” 

Aziraphale was very close to smashing his own face on the desk, but he couldn’t possibly risk discorporating and going back to Heaven. And all the paperwork! 

“I can’t possibly break the rules and go to the store myself.” Aziraphale explained, hoping Crowley caught on his words. 

He didn’t, of course. Because their entire relationship was some broken telephone game where they could never get on the same level of understanding… As far as feelings went, at least.

“Sorry to hear that, maybe you can pick up some other hobby –“ 

_For God’s sake._

“Crowley,” Aziraphale all but groaned, “pick up some sugar and _come to my house_.” 

“Oh. _Oh_.” The smile on his face was obvious even if Aziraphale couldn’t see him. “Be there in twenty minutes!” 

Aziraphale spent the next twenty minutes cleaning like a madman. Another thing he picked up during quarantine, actually. He found out cleaning relaxed him, even after 6000 years of miracling all the dirt away. Now, he found flour everywhere except in the kitchen… No, he wasn’t quite sure why that happened. 

He poured himself a cup of tea, setting one aside for when Crowley joined him. In the buildings next to the bookshop, humans were suddenly feeling extremely stressed about something, but couldn’t quite put their finger on _what_ exactly. 

Crowley arrived not in time, because demons are physically incapable of doing so, but one minute after the twenty minutes he said. The door of the bookshop opened to show him carrying not one, but five bags of sugar. 

“Hello, angel!” Crowley exclaimed, watching him from behind his armful of bags. “I wasn’t sure which type of sugar you wanted, so I bought all of them.” 

“I’m in love with you!” 

God is a kind being, She has eternal patience and love to give to all the creatures of the World… even if She’s done some questionable things – like flooding the world, getting Her Son killed, the whole Black Plague thing, letting the USA exist. But she’s working on her anger issues! Heaven has some pretty decent therapists, and she promised Jesus and Mary she would try to not destroy Humanity the next time a nasty human opened his mouth. 

When Aziraphale told Crowley he was in love with him, a minor Earthquake shook South America’s south at the same time Jesus let out an exhausted groan. Time stopped for five minutes, as God shouted both in relief and in utter disbelief. 6000 years and sugar was the thing that broke one of Her most beloved creatures? 

“Maybe giving them free will was a mistake,” muttered God, hoping Jesus didn’t hear her.

He did. “ _Now_ you say that? Not when I was _crucified_?” 

God was going to cause a volcanic eruption if She had to sit through another family therapy session. “You’re going to give me a headache.” 

Jesus got up from his Throne, pacing around the room. “If anything’s going to give you a headache, it’s this white walls, Matthew showed me this lovely cream color he –“ 

The phone rang. Jesus rolled his eyes as God picked up. 

Satan sounded as tired as God felt. “Father, why did you make them this way?” 

Really? Thousands of years in Hell and he was still asking questions?

Jesus perked up. “Is it Lucifer? Tell him I say hi!” 

Satan groaned. “The little brat is there?” 

“I can hear you!” 

“Children, stop it,” God sighed, staring at the clocks in the wall. She would have to turn them back with all the time She was losing. “We have to hear what Crowley says.” 

“A lovesick confession, no doubt, Raphael was always very emotional.” Satan said. 

“I think –“ Jesus started, but Satan cut him off. 

“You don’t get to say anything! You always spoil all the fun in betting!” 

“Is it my fault Father gave me clairvoyance?” 

God really regretted sending Jesus to stay in Hell while waiting for his resurrection. Everybody makes mistakes, She supposed. “I get it, children, everything is my fault,” She said, pinching the bridge of her nose, “now, I’ve been waiting 6000 years to see these two get together, can you please let your old Father enjoy it?” 

They both went quiet. Jesus sat back on his Throne, and Satan hummed in response. God clicked her tongue. “Perfect, thank you, Children.” 

Time went back to the way it was before. 

Crowley was still standing, holding sugar, blinking like he was trying to see if he was actually awake. Aziraphale covered his face with his hands, muffling his groan.

“I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have said that!” Aziraphale exclaimed, when the silence was too much for him to handle.

“No! Me too!” Crowley all but screamed, dropping the bags on the floor, and Aziraphale was glad he couldn’t see his expression. He strode towards Aziraphale, and gently took his hands away from his face. “What I mean is – I’m in love with you too, angel.”

Aziraphale looked up to him. All his nervousness vanished as he reached to get Crowley’s glasses off. 6000 years, and his eyes were exactly the same, even if they both had changed in ways he would’ve never imagined. There was nothing to be nervous about, really, it was plain old _Crowley_ , looking at him like he always did. With the kind of fondness and devotion human emotion could never comprehend.

“We’ve been fools this whole time, haven’t we?” Aziraphale sighed.

Above them, God nodded enthusiastically. In Earth, Crowley just smiled. “Nothing would’ve worked out the way it did if we weren’t.”

Aziraphale chuckled. “You’re right.”

God, Jesus and Satan held their breaths at the same time, on the edge of their seats. Little did they know that in Heaven and Hell there were a small legion of angels and demons also awaiting to see the resolution to the infamous romance that had stopped the Apocalypse almost two years ago.

Now, ethereal and occult beings _do not kiss_. It would be extremely awkward, as was any sort of touching between their celestial bodies. But, as it has been established, humans do. Crowley and Aziraphale had retained their powers, but besides their titles, they were as close as being human as any other being had ever been, if you don’t count Jesus and Adam Young. 

It felt right, then, that after all those years of waiting and pining, Aziraphale and Crowley would do the human thing. 

And they did.

Short and sweet, a fleeting moment one would associate with a couple that’s been married for years and years and has had their fair share of kisses, more than with a newly formed one that’s been in love with each other for as long as humanity had existed. 

Heaven and Hell groaned simultaneously. God smiled. It was fitting that even in _this_ they would go against the wishes of angels and demons. All across the world, people were getting the good news they’d been waiting for, waking up after a refreshing sleep, finding money in their pockets and rejoicing at the well-done ending of a show they loved. 

Aziraphale held Crowley’s hands like they – like _he_ was precious. “I’m sorry I made you wait, Crowley.”

“Angel, I’d wait another 6000 years for you, Antichrist included and all.”

They laughed. Heaven and Hell went back to their respective jobs, and Gabriel and Beelzebub would find it was the most productive day in the last four thousand years, even if they didn’t understand why. 

God left the room, leaving Satan and Jesus to squabble like children about who was right in whatever bet they’d done. There was nothing like a job well-done, really, and getting to enjoy it was a privilege no one could take away from Her. 

She looked at her children from above. Crowley and Aziraphale. Aziraphale and Crowley. Standing in the kitchen, holding hands as Aziraphale explained the difference between the different types of sugar.

There were things that went beyond understanding. One might ask oneself why on Earth would God accept that an angel and a demon could fall in love and defy everything they ever knew. But The Almighty, in all Her Grace, enjoyed giving her beloved creatures the beautiful wonder of free will. Even if sometimes they managed to get on her nerves, she could marvel in the things they decided to do.

She intended Crowley and Aziraphale to fall in love with Humanity, to stand with the Antichrist and defy Heaven and Hell. She didn’t intend for them to fall in love with each other, but when she made them the first witnesses to rain, she decided that no harm was to come to them, at least none they couldn’t get out from without one another.

Love is the most _ineffable_ force, after all.


End file.
